This has always been an issue for me.
I think it’s because there was a time in my life where a lot of bad things happened and in some senses, I lost myself.
I’ve been having trouble trying to get back to the girl I used to be before then and it’s been quite difficult to do so. But then I realized that I don’t want to be the girl I used to be. I was too easily broken back then. I want to be a newer version of myself. That’s when it finally clicked. I’ve spent so much time wanting to go back when re-inventing a whole new me was all I needed.
Sure it always sounds easier & sure there are going to be days when you think to yourself that it won’t work out but the point is to stay positive and stick with it. In my personal experience it’s way too easy for me to bring to surface all the negative things going on in my life than all the wonderful positive things. Self sabotage is what it is.
I’ve complained in the past that I JUST want to be happy when I’ve known all along the reason why I haven’t been completely happy is because misery loves company. I’m so used to being down in the dumps that I couldn’t pull myself out of it.
Now I’m not saying that all of a sudden everything is perfect, A-OK or even great. I’m a work in progress. I have my days where I pat myself on the back for not being “so” negative & not putting myself down but then of course there are days where I just want to wallowing in all my sorrows. I’m just glad that now there are less days of wallowing and more days of being productive and trying to enjoy life.
I’m 24 years old and I feel like I’ve lost a lot of time these past 3 years. You’re only young once so I might as well do the things I want to do because I can sure as hell complain about it when I’m older but just not now :)
or perhaps it’s the feeling I had when I was there.
The fact that no one knew me.
Getting lost in a crowd full of people who I’ve never met.
That feeling, you know, that I could accomplish anything.
The feeling of a fresh start.
Sometimes I wonder if I feel trapped living in my hometown.
Not that I’m celebrating every day this week…
MY 24th birthday is on Friday.
I’ll be celebrating in style like anyone who turns my age should…
Yes. You read that right! lol
It’s been 12 years since the last time I went & I intend to enjoy the 2 days there and 1 day at California Adventure thoroughly!
It’s been so long so if anyone has tips or advice send them my way :)
My boyfriend calls me while I’m at work. To give me two options for my birthday present.
1) To get the really expensive one for my bday but not have so much money to spend while we’re on vacation…
2) Get the a cheaper one now & then get the more expensive one in two weeks.
He’s awesome. Win-Win situation for me :) I love you honey.
I have a little over two months until I go. I haven’t been since I was 12.
I’ll be spending my actual 24th bday there.
If anyone has tips or things I must do while I’m there please message me :)
I’ll be vacationing over there for a week but only going to the park two days!
You’re a little over a month away now…
Please be good to me.
I’ll be purchasing my first car [FINALLY] & [FINALLY] going back to college to take some evening classes. I’m hoping that your year will treat me well.
So 2012, when we meet… please lead the way :)
But most importantly, I hope this year I won’t feel like such a failure. Even though I know that’s far from the truth, I can’t help but think so.